Jealousy - illness or life

Coquetry and jealousy go hand in hand. Flirting, a woman wants to feel a new interest in itself, absolutely not thinking about the second side of the coin - about jealousy.
Sometimes jealousy game, light, sparkling, embellishing life. "My husband tako-on-th jealous, just the horror - the woman says the persevering gentleman, and myself, as if accidentally, pit the two men face to face and admires them dumbfounded look. The man in the company pretended to frown, looking at his wife, who were whispering in ear new acquaintance. This game is familiar to both spouses and both are happy: she flattered that she is so dear to her husband that if he is guarding it, but he was sure his wife, but flattered by the fact that it attracts the attention of someone else. The game, the game ...

If both players observe unwritten rules, no quarrels between them. It's like riding a roller coaster - your breath away, tickles your nerves, but you know that there's no danger.

But jealousy can also become a completely different game - in one gate. Like for no reason, all of a sudden the husband suspects his wife (maybe even not so favorite) in a certain something is wrong - and starts ... Jealousy as a character trait, jealousy, illness - this is a real danger. It is exhausting and soul affects the body.

If a man is shy, he may suffer in silence, suffer, wither, track down his wife, trying to catch it on trifles. If it is determined - the impact could be up to the battering. While petty quibbling can bring the poor woman before she exclaims: "It would be better I'll really changed, though it would suffer for that! .."

Jealousy - one of the most powerful of human emotions, and comparable with love and with hate. And, like all other emotions inherent in a man. In animals, no jealousy, and can not be, they are independent of each other, they do not belong to each other.

At the heart of jealousy is a feeling of ownership: do not touch me! And the inferiority complex: my wife has found someone who is better than me ... That these two considerations and jealousy begins in earnest. Monitor and capture, interrogate jealous starts better than the investigator. By its nature jealous fixed only on the fact that confirms his doubts. Survive and chewing his doubts, he did not sleep at night, suffering from neurosis, losing themselves into drinking, collapsing family - all based on our own fantasies, for which most often there is no "crime".

Jealousy is not inherent to all and takes prisoner gradually. More prone to jealousy, people initially suspicious, explosive, with a volatile temper, self-doubt, with psychological complexes that have entered into a marriage without love, but by social considerations. In addition, take the jealousy of the only correct demeanor are people who as children witnessed something similar in the parental family.

In a comfortable family atmosphere people can live quite peacefully, until something unusual happens, stress. It may not even relate to the marital relationship: illness, separation, death of a relative, and so on. Knocking the man out of a rut, stress can awaken in him dormant until now something which even without a name, and that might lead to his new condition - depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, but also to awaken jealousy.

Separately it is jealousy in older men, often associated with a decrease in potency, is accused his wife: "She told me with a youth horns advising, that's me and exhausted ..." Views dubious, no evidence, nor are they required: time, I felt sick, then someone to blame. Treat impotence in the elderly - a very complicated exercise, but without her better ideas of jealousy does not decrease. More pain at the end of life - as out of place!

"He's jealous - it means love" - a saying that does not always reflect the truth of life. Sometimes jealousy without love, simply because "their" do not want to give.

At the Old Slavonic word "jealousy" originally meant a responsible, severe, pedantic attitude to some business (remember - "zealous attitude"). It is this attitude should be a serious man to his family, his wife. Do you love - not love, and family hold in his fist. That and a sense of ownership emerged - need the thing or not needed, but my! However, over time, in the process of changing the language, the word has more to treat excessively harsh behavior, and the dictionary Dahl jealousy is treated as a blind and passionate mistrust, the nagging doubts in anyone's love and faithfulness.

Here it is, the basic quality of jealousy - the painful feeling for both. Suffers and one who is jealous, and the one who is jealous. Tormented, jealous, unable to throw himself hateful thoughts and feelings; tormented wife, the host reproaches for no reason, tortured children become nervous due? Permanent scandals and more distinctly cool parents to each other. Moreover, all are losers, just some game into his own goal. But we are playing this terrible game, not having the strength to admit defeat in the struggle with his own darker instincts.

Jealousy is accompanied by chronic stress, which throw up a variety of diseases. Headache, weakness, insomnia, stomach ulcers, heart disease, stroke, hypertension, bronchial asthma, digestive disorders, as well as neurosis and depression, sexuality, alienation from people, including the closest.

Sometimes, just seeing the person that opens the door to my office, I guess that will be discussed on the alleged treason of his wife and about the destruction of all life views on such a misfortune that you do not want to live ... Jealous looks haggard, his hair disheveled, eyes wandering, her hands nervously rubbing against each other. His speech is often incoherent, issues hidden, suffering and lack of faith in a better future.

Served jealousy, depending on the properties of nature, under a variety of sauces. May be predyavleny "documents" - almost incessant recording of movements of his wife, her conversations with strangers, as well as detail on which it is confused in his "testimony". Another jealous more stress the fact that his wife does not smell so when she comes home at the wrong time. The third refers to the stories of all their friends and relatives about the depravity of his wife and her infidelities.

Sometimes versions do not stand any criticism, and sometimes can be very conclusive. What are they true and what is not - is unknown. The wife may just be an angel, but can cuckold husband, but neither I nor (which is most important) her husband is not precisely known.

So the main core of jealousy - Unknown. Jealous never entirely sure of betraying his "half". This non-obviousness and exhausting it makes priedprinimat most foolish or reckless actions that are fully confident in their assumptions or dismiss them. We often hear: "If I was just sure I would have divorced. But I can not get a divorce if she was not guilty. And how to prove - I do not know."

From any situation always have three choices: to change the situation, change yourself, stay in a situation that would be even worse. Jealous husband can not change the situation - he was still married, all around the same people, and in general he believes that he is still not completely sure of treason, to change his (and not just his) life. Jealous husband can not change itself - is inherent in his character. Therefore, he continues to sink into the depths of his suspicions, which, like enticing and luring, are all on, not yet confirmed or denied.

Sometimes, jealousy erupts suddenly have quite prone to this person, she may be short-lived, and sometimes so tenacious that is going through and the very love. Jealousy is not considered to be neither the laws nor with common sense: be jealous of the long-dead or not yet encountered, jealous of the perfect man in an apparent accusation; to reject the evidence of loyalty and grasp at the tiniest hints of treason.

Experiences of jealousy can grow every day, or die down for a long time, can erode the soul of one man, and may spill on others. Men more likely to be experience in itself, but women are often even for no reason publicly complain about her husband's infidelity, attracted to track down friends and even random people.

What a strange paradox: trust people a little, and doubt, with whom he lived for several years, experienced many hardships and joys ... And maybe that is just and salt: a betrayal of all those expensive, much worse than from the minor person. But here are your options. The woman said: "I hate him, but if you still catch him on treason, would that ..." What is it - masochism? the feeling of ownership? childhood grafted views? God knows, but in any case, nothing good will.

By the way, other times to what it is jealous of man-age, one can conclude that a set of his torments. For quite different questions "why such a young" and "why bring it into our house." Fear of old age in the first case and an attempt to protect your home against invasion of foreign - in the second. Was it or was not so important for most of jealousy, but it is important to anyone jealous.

What to do if you jealous? Try to understand what kind of jealousy - controlled or completely not subject to arguments of reason, can dispense with flattery or logic, explanations of foreign or native. If not, we must fear jealous. But in any case not allow you to threaten, let alone beat! The impunity of corrupt and the next time the jealous husband may give me more faith.

If jealousy is a kind of soil, sometimes your statement that it was an accident and that "I do not anymore, can significantly reduce the stress of jealousy. Also helping explanations that vicinity, as such, was not, was just flirting, which evil tongues swollen to epic proportions.

Sometimes women are at risk even say it was close, but the man did not work out that it was unpleasant, etc. In short, if you feel jealous that his wife's adultery did not withdraw something from him his property and, moreover, did not give something to his wife or another man, his condition can significantly improve. They say that if Desdemona was able to properly talk with her husband, Shakespeare would not have to write "Othello".

One patient told me that on the background of the strongest feelings about became known to him his wife's infidelity, his head was just torn with thoughts of the "fall" of the wife, her immoral behavior. When a few days later his wife suddenly said that she was only an attempt to infidelity, that all happened out of stupidity, but nothing happened, my husband once believed and experienced by this great relief.

Another man, he has repeatedly unfaithful to his wife, learned of her betrayal of the mother in law, a few days to solve difficult question: whether justified his wife's betrayal, given his infidelity, or, conversely, he is right up front like changing it. These reflections give him a purely physical pain. However, the questioning of his wife he did not answer, and only a week suddenly I felt that psychic torment just poured out of him, and with sobs declared the wife that he knows of her betrayal, forgive her and just hoped that would be able to survive this loss.

His wife (!) Long questioned him on suspicion, and then said that was nothing like that at all. My husband was so easy on the soul, as if he again fell in love with his wife, and mother-in-law and then apologized, saying that was wrong and all the emotions at once ended happily. And although this happens rarely, in time said the correct word is able to restore what seemed destroyed.

If jealous may explain the coincidence of events, to prove that his specific suspicions are unjustified, then the attacks of jealousy can be extinguished in the bud. But sometimes the charges are vague and often reduced to a rhetorical exclamations like "well, how are you able to do so!" or "where was your conscience." Therefore, the wife can not really defend themselves, even if configured to have to apologize for something and so exhaust the problem. Passion of jealousy flared up, his suffering begin to spin like a squirrel in a cage and grow in neobyatnyh sizes. With such a man sometimes successful exclamations like: "How could I have deceived you, if you are my most beautiful, most intelligent, most energetic ..." etc.

However, the effect may be short, and again renewed so inherent jealousy night conversations, the evening scandals, rising overexcitement. If you see that the experiences of jealousy no longer belong to the most change, and are closed on themselves, become stereotyped, commonplace, closing the circle from which a man can not escape, do not try to solve the problem yourself with valerian or emotional conversations - this does not help, but will make you more vulnerable.

Refer to the specialists, do not be afraid to "wash dirty linen in public" - and it will help the patient, and you. You may have to go to a psychologist, perhaps, to a psychiatrist. Do not be afraid of this, psychiatrists are treated not only mental illness, and psychological disorders, which include the majority of cases, and jealousy. In time starting treatment, the man will return to normal life, so that no trace will remain of the absurd experiences. Easier would be to himself and all others. Lost time give rise to many new problems, will reduce the chances of full recovery, endangered and acquaintances, and strangers.

How strange that we have different attitudes to the diseases that are visible and which are imperceptible. We understand that there are diseases of the body, but until recently trying to disown the possibility of disorder of the soul, though there are also completely harmless peculiarities of character, and the ominous disease, leading to complete loss of humanity. Jealous husband may not understand what is a torturer, not only for others but for themselves. Help him, cure him, looking at the life sensibly, he will thank you.

If you are jealous, try to understand really, is there, why be jealous or suspicious but you have nothing. One suspects can be anyone and anything. But suspicions are justified only rarely. Do not spoil the nerves themselves and others, believe the people - they are much more honest than we think.

Try to solve the basic problem: what will you do if you make sure to change - sorry, a divorce, will suffer further? Do you need confidence in their suspicions? And most importantly - if you really have changed, why? What do you personally have not done in order to prevent this action? Psychologists say that a person in an extramarital affair is looking for something that does not get married. What can you give a spouse that he was not looking "to the side?

Solving these problems (and they always resolved), you can get rid of jealousy bases - self-doubt. In fact, if you are the best, who will change SCM? Find yourself in those traits for which you are worthy of strong love and do not lean them in their self-esteem. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, one must not underestimate the first and second exaggerate! You deserve love and respect no less an imaginary opponent, just so you can compare it with you.

If jealousy does not sleep at night, if your spirits fell, if you lose control, go to the doctor. Jealousy does not extend to the straitjacket, but a doctor can help you regain peace, sobriety, peace in the family.

And remember, you're not alone. It is estimated that over 90% of psychologists couples experienced a "crisis of jealousy", often zakanchivayushiysya safely. Divorce is a state of complete only 11% of married couples. At the same time, more than 16% of spouses spend their lives in the unexpressed but clearly "the battle of local significance" due to the same zeal. Finally, in 6% of families jealousy is the basis of coexistence of the couple, accompanied by constant scandals, but for some reason does not lead to divorce.

So, love jealousy - it is a whole complex of the strongest emotions. Love the pain is stronger, the hotter love. Sometimes, becoming unbearable, the pain causes jealousy go all moral boundaries - until the assassination. Aggression occurs in about half jealous. Suicides of jealousy are extremely rare, although the thought of it exists in almost every jealous. Only one out of ten betrayal of his wife is associated with one's own behavior, others think of her depravity. At the same time, men say that his wife suddenly became extremely meaningful to them, they are constantly thinking about it. If you can understand their own or someone else's jealousy with arguments of reason, do not neglect this opportunity. But if jealousy is not susceptible to reason, contact the professionals, they give you back the joy of life and reasonable estimates.

Jealousy - a little pepper in a dish of love. But an excess of pepper can ruin the most dainty dish.